Becoming a surrogate mother is a big decision, and many potential surrogate mothers want to know what it is like to be a surrogate. This is a new blog series where we’ll follow the experiences of our past and current surrogates, Charity and Nicole, to share their personal journeys with surrogacy. This is the first post from Charity.
This is one of the most common questions I’m asked. And the answer is unique.
It was a typical Sunday morning. My husband was watching sports, our son was playing and I was sitting on the living room floor with the Sunday paper surrounding me.
I was looking through the help wanted section, I always like to see what kind of jobs are out there, when an ad caught my eye.
“Looking for Ovum Donors and Surrogates.” What in the world is that? I was 24 years old and these words were new to me. I read the ad to my husband and he wasn’t sure either. I clipped the ad and made it my mission to find out what it was to be a surrogate or ovum donor.
Monday morning I called the company on the ad, and learned that it was an agency that facilitated egg donation and surrogacy programs.
My first question: What’s an ovum donor?
Answer: A woman who donates her eggs to help someone else have a child.
OK, I could do that.
My second question: What’s a surrogate?
Answer: A woman who carries a child for someone who can’t carry one herself.
Whoa…..there’s no way I could ever do that!! Could I?
And it started. The wheels in my mind were turning faster than most wind turbines in a March storm.
That was 15 years ago, and during the past 15 years I have helped create and add to four families. I’ve had many ups and a few downs. But when I think back over those years I will never forget the moment that cemented me into surrogacy.
It was my first journey—my first delivery as a surrogate. I had just delivered a healthy 7lb, 11 oz. baby boy. My husband was by my side holding my hand telling me what a great job I did and how proud he was of me. Then I looked up. At the end of my bed stood my IM (intended mother), tears were streaming down her face, and her hands were shaking, moving slowly from her mouth, to her heart, to her child. She turned to me, smiled, wiped her tears and kept saying “thank you, thank you, thank you”. I knew in that moment this was not the only family I would help.
Through this blog I will share with you experiences from both my gestational surrogacies and my traditional surrogacy. I hope I will be able to answer questions you may have and share with you the joy I have felt and the relationships I have built. Most of all I hope I will be able to help you answer your own question—Could I be a surrogate?
Do you have questions about surrogacy? Please feel free to post any questions in the comments section and I will do my best to answer them in a timely fashion.